


Cegan drabbles

by Leef



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M, just a collection of drabbles and prompts, some AU, various topics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-02-26 07:08:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13230570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leef/pseuds/Leef
Summary: spacereatardon tumblr: Can anyone write a little about New Year/Christmas!cegan au? That would be perfect *dreams*





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [spacereatard](http://spacereatard.tumblr.com/) on tumblr: Can anyone write a little about New Year/Christmas!cegan au? That would be perfect *dreams*

They had met at a club, Carl being dead drunk and Negan making fun of him for it. That had been six months ago, in the middle of summer. It had taken Carl one and a half month after that to find out that Negan was the coach of the dickheads that called themselves the baseball team of his university. When Carl had passed by the field just because he had been late for class, he had almost stopped on his way, staring at Negan. The man had been shouting and insulting the hell out of those jocks, and Carl’s heart might have skipped a beat at the sight.

 

Ever since that day, he had passed the field on purpose, not because he was late – he rarely was – but because he had wanted to get a glance at the coach he had been hitting on so hard back at the club. Another month had passed, until Negan was not only giving him his characteristic grin but had started to wave at him. Carl had ignored him the first times, doing nothing more than raising an eyebrow and moving on. It had soon become their kind of game – Negan having fun by making it clear that he knew Carl went by on purpose, and Carl pretending he didn’t know anything about it.

 

They had kept this on another month, until Carl had finally started to react. He had managed to pass the field whenever the jocks were leaving, and Negan would come over then and try to talk to him, and eventually they had started having real conversations. Carl had assumed Negan would mock him for having been a clingy drunk idiot back at the club, but to his surprise he never did. They actually had nice conversations and they had eventually ended up meeting outside the baseball field.

 

Another month passed, until they had fucked for the first time. It hadn’t been anything special, really, even though Carl might have liked that – and even Negan would have, though Carl had never guessed for him being that kind of a person. Negan usually was full of himself, acting like a gentleman sometimes and then again acting like the biggest dick possible. Carl had decided that he liked it, even though it was one hell of an annoying behavior at times.

 

They had continued to meet. Sometimes they had had dinner, sometimes they had just fucked, but mostly they had fucked, no matter what. Carl had suspected that had been the main reason they met, and for him it was. In the beginning, at least. He had never thought he’d really fall for this hot asshole that was almost twice his age. But he did, slowly, so that he hadn’t even noticed in the beginning. Not until Christmas and until he had found himself standing in front of his door, pressing the doorbell. Carl hadn’t even known whether Negan had been at home or not. He had known he didn’t have family around here, but he had never asked whether there was any family elsewhere in the states. Carl himself hadn’t gone home for many reasons, but mostly because his parents were going through a divorce and he couldn’t stand to see them.

 

That day, when Negan had answered the door, they had spent the first night together without having sex but with movies, pizza, and the most awkward cuddles either of them had ever received. It had been that day, that Carl couldn’t deny falling for him any longer.

 

But it hadn’t been until New Year’s Eve, that he found out Negan had fallen for him, too. It was the most awkward evening they had spent until this day. Negan had attempted to cook for him, which lead to the biggest mess and the most disgusting food ever. But they had laughed at it, and they both had a warm feeling while making fun of the awful dish. They had started to cast each other the most innocent and tender looks, which they both seemed incredible uncomfortable with. So, they had settled for the one thing they both were good at and never felt bad for or uncomfortable with – they fucked. They had fucked hard, and they had fucked fast. They had bitten at each other’s lips until they had made each other bleed, seemingly needing to get all those feelings and emotions off their chests. They were both terrible at communicating, but they knew that something had changed between them – one worse than the other at expressing it or pointing it out.

 

It had taken them three hours of fucking and cursing and exhaustion until they could settle for Negan holding Carl, while outside the fireworks had been starting to go off. They hadn’t talked about what they felt, but they both had come to terms with it, with whatever it was they had been having from that day on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drabble for [Violette](http://violette-pleasures.tumblr.com/). The prompt was "Carl hitting Negan which leads to a make out session" combined with the sentence "We were living a lie."
> 
> It turned out a lot sadder than I wanted it to. Actually, it turned out to be the opposite of what I had intended to write. But hey, sometimes that's how it is.

**We are living a lie. And I let you destroy me.**

„So, when? Huh? I am sick of this, Negan.”

The man held his hands up in defense to calm the angry teen in front of him down. Though Carl was not actually a teen anymore. He had been when they met for the first time, but that was years ago. Three years.

“It’s complicated. But I swear, I will do it. Just calm down or you gonna wake the lil’ one.”

Carl glared at him, still full of rage, but the mention of the child stopped at least his screaming. Once more he was thankful that Negan owned a house without neighbors that could listen in or be annoyed.

Negan took a step forward and let his hands rest on Carl’s slim shoulders, squeezing them softly. The touch made Carl shiver.

“I’m sorry, babe.”

His voice was low, soothing, like silk caressing Carl’s mind, lulling him in. His tone was gentle and made Carl want to apologize for his behavior right away - again, like he had done so very often. But he knew he had every right to be upset. How many times had he promised to leave Lucille? Even before she got the diagnose; he had promised him. Carl knew it was selfish to expect him to leave his terminally ill wife and their little daughter. Not that Carl would not want the little girl around. He loved her, and he had been her babysitter almost since day one. He loved her as much as he loved his baby sister.

Still.

It had been years since Negan had first made his promise.

“It’s hard right now. Hard for her, for me. Hell, it’s hard for you… I know that.”

Negan cupped Carl’s delicate face with his huge hands and Carl melted into the touch, got lost in those warm eyes, wanting to believe his words more than ever.

“I love you, baby. I really do. More than you can imagine. But I can’t leave her right now. Not in the state she’s in; not when she’s in the clinic.”

Carl knew that. He knew it and that was a thing that made the stinging more agonizing that he felt every time they fought over this topic. He loved Lucille, too - in a way - and he was heartbroken over what happened to her. He felt bad for demanding those things from Negan, but he couldn’t help it. It was an awful situation they were in.

“That’s what you’ve been telling me the whole past year.”

Carl’s voice was barely more than a weak, defeated whisper. They both knew that Negan would not leave Lucille. That he would stay with her until the end. And it made Carl so angry. Not only angry with Negan – honestly, he understood him in a way – but more with himself. That he fell for it – again and again. He simply was not strong enough to walk away from him and this profound pain. He hated himself for it.

It had been stupid from the start. How naïve to fall in love with the guy whose newborn you were babysitting. Carl had felt like a stupid teenager back then when he had noticed he had a crush on the handsome father of the little girl he was supposed to look after almost every week.

This guy could have been his own father, and Carl knew he should crush on college boys; boys that took the same classes as he did; jocks he saw in the field every day after his last lecture. Anyone but a married man he worked for, a man whose wife welcomed him with a smile every time he came by, sometimes even with damn cookies. Anyone but a new father with a loving wife.

“I mean it, sweetie. I do. I’d never lie to you. Baby, I love you. You know that, right?”

Negan rubbed his thumb gently over Carl’s cheek, painting soothing circles on his skin, his touches light as a feather.

“More than her?”

Negan did not answer right away, and Carl thought he could hear his heart scatter like a fragile tea cup hitting the floor. He felt tears stinging in his eyes, anger welling in his chest, making the terrible pain he felt a million times worse.

And then he heard skin colliding with skin, a dry smack echoing through the eerily silent living room. He was in a state of trance, only slowly realizing the stinging pain in his right hand and comprehending that he had slapped Negan across his face. His hand was still shaking and held up in front of him.

“…just tell me it was a lie. At least do that.”

His voice was hoarse, barely audible and he felt his throat tightening, a lump choking him. He could not swallow it down, no matter how hard he tried. His chest felt as if someone had put a thousand pounds on it which were slowly crushing him.

Negan looked at him, holding eye contact. He looked so incredibly sorry, hurt, devastated. He did not know what to say, nor what to do. He knew Carl was right and the guilt was weighting him down – it had been from the start but even more since Lucille had gotten sick. He knew what he did was wrong, so wrong, but he was too much of a coward to end any of it.

“…no more lies. Please.”

Carl’s words fell quietly from his lips like dead leaves fell when fall arrived.

“I love you. That’s the truth.”

Negan reached for Carl’s hand that was still hovering in the air between them. He did not let his eyes stray from the wet ones of Carl, carefully and slowly moving it to his lips to kiss it in an apologetic manner.

“I love you, Carl. You mean the world to me. And that – I swear – is no lie.”

Carl’s tears were still flowing, his mouth slightly open when sobs started to escape him, shaking him. He shook his head as if it could keep Negan’s words out of his head. He did not want to hear that. He knew Negan was beating around the bush, was not answering the questions he so desperately needed answers to.

He took a step back from the man, raising his hand again to slap him. He was sure Negan saw it coming, but the man did not stop him, even though it would have been easy for him.

“I’m such an idiot…”

He wanted to run away, to go home, to leave this house he had collected so many twisted memories in. How they had fucked with the baby sleeping in the other room; how they had kissed as soon as Lucille had been out of the house to meet with her girlfriends; how they had laughed and cooked and watched movies together as if it was their house, as if it was their daughter sleeping next to them.

Negan pulled Carl back to him, gripping his small wrists pulling his hands that were covering his tearstained face off it. His face was full of hurt, of pain – not only physical pain. Carl could clearly see that.

“I am sorry, babe… So sorry.”

Carl did not know why he let him kiss him again then, or why he kissed him back.

No, he knew exactly why.

Because he was in love, madly, terrifyingly, deeply in love with him – no matter how much it hurt. Because he wanted his words to be true, because he wanted to believe he would leave her, that they could be together like a couple, not like an affair that had to be kept a secret.

Maybe that was what love was supposed to be; this was what love felt like, right? Sweet but full of thorns scratching your skin until you could not bear it anymore.

Carl cupped Negan’s face, even more sobs escaping his mouth and being transferred into Negan’s mouth when he experienced the familiar feeling of his stubble under his fingers and his heavy arms wrapped around his body. His warm scent and his soft lips made him tremble in agony, in love, in desire… If he was honest with himself, he was not sure what he felt anymore. He had never felt this confused, this lost yet found.

They pressed their bodies against each other, closing even the smallest space between them. The kiss was wet from their tears and they tore at each other as if it would make anything better, as if it would help their problems. They tumbled towards the couch, stripping off each other’s clothes as if it were their insecurities, their difficulties, all the pain they were in. They wanted to leave it behind, to forget it for a moment – like they did so often since things had gotten worse with Lucille and therefore even worse between the two of them.

It might be a lie they were living, but it was all they had.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Someone getting fucked while asleep (all worked out beforehand and consensual of course) and they get fucked so hard they wake up in the middle of it and they’re so sleepy and turned on they can only moan and beg for more in that deep just-woken tone of voice,
> 
> spacereatard added: + promt with blowing under the covers while one of the couple is asleep (i mean, as really nice way to wake him up) just imagine cegan both of them carl is more shy but he really want to do it and negan waking up with husky “fuck” noticing what exactly Сarl is doing

It was still early, the sun barely illuminating the room. It was winter, only on the verge of spring, so it was not exactly warm in the room. Carl had always wondered how Negan could sleep with nothing on. He had a lot of blankets, yes, but Carl was freezing under them even with pajamas on. And here he was, the blanket exposing the upper half of his chest, a tattoo peeking out from under the dark linen. Carl stared at him for a few moments, relishing the sight, especially because it normally was Negan waking him and not the other way around. He liked how peaceful he looked while being asleep and he was thankful that he could add one more morning to his handful of memories of it.

He licked his lips as his gaze trailed from Negan’s cheek down his jawline, along his gorgeous throat, all the way to his chest and then even farther down. He could see a slight erection even under the covers and he knew this was his chance. They had never really talked about it, but Carl knew Negan liked to get surprised. And that there was nothing sexual he wasn’t willing to at least try once. Actually, it was something he loved so damn much about him. He made sex sound so normal and everything sexual along with it. For Carl it was still something shameful, something he wasn’t as comfortable with as Negan. He really hoped he would get there someday but he also knew that Negan had grown up in another time. He had dated in high school, in college, he was married and maybe even had been before this. Sex had always been something he could talk about with friends – something Carl never had and most likely never would. Because growing up in this world meant no one around his age to do so, no one developing a normal interest in these things. They were a luxury, something he had never seen the need to explore. Until he met him.

It’s easy to pull the blankets up far enough for him to slip under them. It was too dark to really see anything, but he could make out the outline of Negan’s legs. They were spread – the way he always sleeps if not wrapped around Carl from behind. It’s warm down there and even though it was harder to breath the stale air, he was excited and moved farther up. Negan’s dick was – in fact – swollen like he had thought, and after a moment of hesitation he wet his lips some more and reached for it to guide it into his mouth.

He had done this a few times before, but every time it had been either under the shower or right after it. He never really liked the taste even after they had washed themselves, so this wasn’t exactly a pleasant taste unwrapping itself on his tongue. It was more the thought of what Negan would do once he woke up that excited him and urged him to keep going.

It didn’t take long for Negan to stir, slowly waking but apparently not noticing right away what was going on. His cock had considerably thickened in Carl’s mouth over the past few minutes in which he had tried to stimulate him enough, but not too much to wake him immediately. There was a groan from the other side of the blankets and the spread legs on each side of Carl were beginning to move along with the hips under him. He steadied himself on Negan’s tights to not be pushed away because he knew Negan wouldn’t enjoy it as much if he had to start again. Instead he wanted him to lift the covers and see him with his cock in his mouth as if it was the most normal thing to see right after waking up.

Carl closed his eye and bobbed his head, this time no longer trying to not wake him but to impress the hell out of him. He wanted to hear him groan more, loving how full and husky his voice sounded after a night’s rest. It didn’t take long until hands were snaking under the blankets and searching for Carl’s head, finding their way into his tangled curls. Only one hand remained there though, pushing him down a little farther but only with little pressure, not enough to force Carl to do it, but enough to let him know what he wanted him to do. The other one lifted the blankets more, causing a faint shimmer of light to illuminate the doings down there. It was also Carl’s clue to open his eye and look up to his older lover, still appearing sleepy but not the slightest bit unimpressed.

“Fuck…”

Carl shuddered upon hearing that and had to close his eye again, pressing his legs together to stimulate his own growing erection. When had he become that hard from just giving a blowjob? He didn’t know but he also didn’t care. All he cared about was Negan’s pulsing cock in his mouth, the noises he made and the breathed almost-pleads.

“God, keep going babe.”

He had never heard Negan plead and he was sure he never would, but this was close enough to fuel him, to make this the best blowjob Negan had ever received. He wanted to be the one Negan thought of when thinking of receiving head, not one of his wives, though Carl knew they had more experience and skill. Maybe he could never keep up with them, but he wanted to believe it. He needed to believe it.

“That’s my boy. You are so damn gorgeous. Fuck…”

Carl let Negan’s hand guide him, showing him the way he liked it most, letting his hand and his voice explain to him what to do.

Carl would never forget that growl Negan made when the liquid spilled into his mouth. It was like nothing he had heard before, and even though it was embarrassing, it was enough to make him come in his pajama pants.


End file.
